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Four plinth to be replaced with 30-foot plaster cast of Germaine Greer’s vagina

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After the warm reception that her naked statue of Mary Wollestonecraft has received, Maggi Hambling plans to follow up her success by installing a scale model of Germaine Greer’s vulva in the corner of Trafalgar Square. 

The new sculpture, which we are assured is to scale, will be installed on the fourth plinth from January next year, and is already being commemorated with a brand-new pink plaque by English Heritage.

Commenting on the work, Hambling said “we wanted some feminist architecture in Trafalgar Square to balance out the phallic symbolism of Nelson’s Column. Also, it’s nice to think that Admiral Nelson now has something to fuck”. 

Her latest work, a naked sculpture of the toned upper torso of Mary Wollestonecraft “the mother of feminism”, was revealed today on display in Newington Green. Some fans were slightly surprised that a statue funded by women, made by women, and celebrating women, was so focused on the pert young breasts of a feminist critic who, throughout her career, was mostly clothed. In response to the criticism, a source close to the artist said “well, that’s white feminism for you”

The Mary Wollestonecraft statue is currently adorned with the inscription “I do not wish women to have power over men, but over themselves”. It is thought that Hambling’s newest statue will echo this feminist statement, as the base of the plinth will be inscribed with the empowering feminist couplet “From the top, make it drop, that’s some wet ass pussy, now get a bucket and a mop, that’s some wet ass pussy”.