Amidst heightened debate surrounding channel crossings, the government has launched a new initiative to unite the country around a new immigration policy. It has been decided that James Corden will not be allowed to re-enter the country if he ever decides to return from the United States.
James Corden has hosted the CBS late night show The Late Late Show with James Corden since 2015. British public opinion, despite a short-lived wave of sympathy following Gavin and Stacey, has shifted now that Corden is glamorous and successful rather than overweight and pitiful.
When pressed by Labour on whether this new law amounts to a ban on emigration, the government have responded with the following statement:
“In short, no. This is a measure that will only be taken in the most extreme circumstances.”
After being pushed for further specifics, the government have offered further clarification:
“This measure will only be enacted in circumstances in which the invididual in question has become a nuisance to Queen and country. Whilst we can tolerate Hugh Laurie, Nick Clegg and even Katie Hopkins, it’s going to take more than a passably successful BBC Christmas special to rehabilitate Corden’s image.”
In his permanent banishment from the UK, Corden will be the first Briton since Shamima Begum to be irrevocably stripped of their British citizenship.
