The isolation wrought by the Covid-19 pandemic has resulted in a number of unexpected consequences – from the resurgence of print book sales, to the plummeting of the lipstick index.
However, one unforeseen consequence of this cultural reset is the rise of a new disease known as “Telgraph-ism” – in which erstwhile liberals, trapped at home with only the echo chamber of Twitter for company, have begun unwittingly agreeing with controversial conservative commentator Julia Hartley Brewer.
The spike in infections follows Ms Hartley Brewer’s contentious comments yesterday on the fact that Tier 4 restrictions disproportionately affect the poor and vulnerable. Her observation that, since March, only 377 previously healthy people under the age of 60 have died as a result of coronavirus, and that perhaps more targeted shielding and economic support might benefit the populace, had initially been met with accusations of eugenicism and fascism by the left wing media.
However, some reflection on the fact that non-discriminating lockdowns penalise lower income households, and may result in far higher death rates in the medium to long term future, caused much head-scratching among self-identifying liberals, and is thought to be responsible for the spike in Telgraphism.
Symptoms include distress, migraines, and confusion, with one self-proclaimed Corbynista writing that “realising the issue might have nuance left me bed bound for nearly a week”. Other victims have reported “wearing the colour blue more”, and mistakenly thinking Allison Pearson might have some valid opinions.
Previous techniques for resisting the illness have included wilful misunderstanding – “of COURSE she wants everyone over 60 to be shot!” – to invoking eugenics, with reductive and deeply insulting comparisons with Nazi Germany to be used as a last resort.
A suggestion for a home remedy – to stop engaging with clickbait journalism, which is fuelled by the profits of an outrage-driven algorithm and has no influence over public policy – has been widely rejected.
