As pubs prepare to open under new regional restrictions, one question has dominated the media discourse – does a Scotch Egg count as a substantial meal? Michael Gove has professed to “quaff a couple” as a starter to ITV news, while rumours have abounded about Boris Johnson ejaculating into a hollowed out Quorn Egg, allegedly inspired by the peach scene in Call Me By Your Name. But one Whitehall figurehead has grasped the discourse as an opportunity to enhance his own reputation on cultural issues- Jacob Rees Mogg.
In a leaked email to his aides, Rees-Mogg enquires about the culinary, political, and religious significance of the Scotch Egg to “those north of the border”, beginning “I would like to understand what a Scotch egg is. Is it a speciality dish for the Scottish people? Or is it just for the poors?”
Although the replies from his aides have been redacted, it appears at least one responded to Mr Rees-Mogg on the topic of Scottish cuisine, as his later response reads “Deep fried mars bar? Is that what they use to penetrate their women?” before adding, seemingly as a joke, “you can see what Danny Boyle meant with Trainspotting”.
The email concludes with Rees-Mogg asking whether “eating a Scotch Egg as a challenge live on television, as an homage to that show with the Geordie twins” would garner praise or not. This is believed to be a reference to the eating challenges on I’m A Celebrity, Get Me Out of Here, where celebrities eat disgusting foodstuffs designed to shock viewers for clout, although no one is quite sure, and other commentators have read it as a reference to a recent RSC production of Twelfth Night set in Gateshead.
