Well known software company ‘Zoom’ is threatening an injunction against the COVID-19 vaccine on the grounds that its success would be a monumental blow to the web-conferencing giant.
The software has been the go-to site for communication during the Coronavirus pandemic, with its use in work, pleasure, and general misery becoming widespread as a result of restrictions on socialising. Resultantly, it has enjoyed a “zoom” in value throughout 2020. However, with the cure of COVID-19, people will no longer be locked in their homes, with nothing to do but quizzes and work; the damage to the company could be as severe as that of COVID on the world, experts have warned.
When reached for comment, a spokesperson for Zoom noted:
“It’s just an outrage, really. You work so hard to build something from the ground up and then some selfish krauts come along and spoil everything. What happened to the American dream?”
And further,
“We’re all praying for those mink in Denmark right about now.”
When asked if the company had any moral problems with blocking the vaccine currently being developed by Pfizer, they responded: “Welcome to the software industry, dickhead”.
